min read
convincing spouse to ccw

My Spouse Doesn't Want Me To Carry Concealed – How Do I Change Her Mind?

When you're in a long-term, committed relationship with someone, it only makes sense to make decisions with both parties involved. And when it comes to firearms – let's face facts – not everyone is a fan. That's okay. In this article, we'll go over some ways where you can discuss firearms with your significant other and hopefully get them to see things your way. Ultimately, this is a game of diplomacy – so the standard arguments of “it's my constitutional right” may not work the same at the dinner table as they do on the internet. We're with you. Let's work this one out.

Step 1: Ask Why She Doesn't Want You To Carry a Concealed Handgun

The first step to understanding what your significant other's reservations about firearms are is by asking her. Is there a reason why your spouse sees a firearm in the house or on your person as something unappealing?

While the article isn't directed at women, we're using the article “her” because it's just easier than saying “him/her” all the time. Don't be offended, either party. Men can just as easily be wary of firearms as women and it's important to realize that going into this.

When your significant other is giving you her reasons, let her speak. Let her be as honest and forthright about the rationale she has why a firearm would make her uncomfortable. This will give you insight into how to approach it next.

Step 2: Reinforce Responsibility That Comes With CCW

talking to spouse about concealed carry

Everyday carry means everyday responsibility. You're responsible for the gun, it's whereabouts, and how it's handled. That's on you. A good step towards convincing her it's a good idea is by educating her on firearm safety.

    The basic rules of gun safety are this:
  1. You always treat every firearm as if it is loaded – until you visually confirm in the chamber that it is not.
  2. You don't aim it at anything you don't intend to destroy.
  3. You keep your finger clear and off the trigger until you're ready to fire.
  4. You know what's in front and directly behind your target at all times.

The big reinforcement for these principles is how you practice them. If you can demonstrate that a firearm is a tool and, in capable hands, can be a great asset towards protecting yourself and her from harm, then your argument just got a bit stronger.

All concealed carriers know, a moment of true danger doesn't wait for the police to calmly arrive. If she's had a bad experience with an ex or somebody who didn't take firearm ownership responsibly, let her know that you are not that man. You're a responsible, legal concealed carrier with only self-defense in mind.

Step 3: Demonstrate the Need To Conceal Carry Every Day

talking to wife about carrying guns

The best way to assuage her worries about you carrying is by carrying responsibly. That means using a good iwb holster and always handling your firearm like you mean it. It also means maintaining constant situational awareness. If you're in a house with children, it can mean securing that gun when it's not physically present on your body.

Convincing your significant other that a firearm in the house and on your person is a good idea is as simple as demonstrating the merits versus the deficits. Every person in a serious relationship is worried about the welfare of his family, his property, and those around him. Educating and demonstrating good technique will go miles towards convincing the other person it's a good idea.

And when in doubt: take her to the range and let her see for herself – firearms can be fun and safe.

James England

About The Author

James England (@sir_jim_england) is the contributing editor for Alien Gear Holsters. He is a veteran of Operation Iraqi Freedom and private defense contracting in Afghanistan.